The ABCs + 123s of Calming Techniques for Kids (and Parents too!)
When big feelings show up, kids don’t need perfection — they need tools. Simple, repeatable tools. That’s where the ABCs + 123s of Calming come in. These are easy strategies you can teach, model, and practice together so your child learns: “I can handle hard moments.”
A — Affirmation
Kids borrow our calm before they learn their own. Start with grounding words that anchor the moment:
“You’re safe. I’m here.”
“Feelings come and go — we can handle this.”
“You’re not in trouble. You’re learning.”
Affirmations soften the nervous system and open the door to regulation.
B — Breathing
Breathing is the body’s fastest reset button. Try one of these kid-friendly breaths:
Hot Cocoa Breaths: Smell the cocoa… blow to cool it off.
Starfish Breathing: Trace your fingers with your breath (in on the way up, out on the way down).
4–4 Breathing: In for 4, out for 4.
Slow breath = safety signal to the brain.
C — Coping Skills
Choose 1–2–3 skills your child enjoys and can use consistently (there are so many to choose from)
1️⃣ Walk Away/Count to 10(Reset Space): A short break can prevent a big blow-up.
2️⃣ Tapping or Touch: Tap on shoulders, press palms together, or squeeze a stuffie.
3️⃣ Mantra or Reframe: “I can do hard things,” “This feeling won’t last,” or “I’m calming my body.”
Other favorites: a big hug, cold water on hands, or naming feelings out loud.
Putting It All Together
ABC + 123 becomes a rhythm:
Affirm → Breathe → Choose 1–2–3 coping skills.
Simple. Repeatable. Regulating.
And the best part? When parents model it, kids learn faster. Your calm doesn’t just teach — it transforms.